awkward moment at school

So, we were doing sport, we had the option of either playing dodgeball, football or going down to the gym; I of course chose the gym because I burn a lot more calories there. I was literally  exercising until the bell rung, which was a full hour, I felt really faint afterwards. So I'm there at the water sprinklers drinkling water, and this girl in my class just comes over to me and randomly hugs me and shes like ''aww your so cute and small, I want to take you home''. yeah, I'm kindof shy so you know...

cravings

So, I'm just gonna post my cravings whenever I get them to cope with it. Right now I am craving jam sandwiches. Ugh, It took so much willpower to throw my jam sandwiches today too, I just keep thinking about eating them! But I just have to keep my willpower up, because it is worth it. Filling up on water. Hopefully when I go home I won't eat one.

Parents finally notice weight loss

So my parents finally figured out I was losing weight, took them long enough. 
 

So, my granny took me to mcdonalds for breakfast today

Wow, seriously healthy NOT! I had to get a freaking bacon and egg gross muffin thing. UGH! You could practicly smell the grease and the fat. I hid a load in my pocket, then spent the next hour in the toilet purging it out. It was absolutely awful. I really hated it. I hope to god I didn't digest any of it, or else it would be just terrible.

300 freaking calories worth! I seriously hate her sometimes. I do NOT WANT TO BE FAT!!!

It broke my week long fast I was having too. I will have to try harder not to eat now, but since she's here, most likely I am going to have to eat dinner again. This sucks.

found a way to stop myself from binging!

Ok, so whenever I feel really bad and I just want to binge, now I find that if I drink some tea (plain of course) with the tiniest bit ever of light soya milk, my cravings go away. Of course I only do this when I need to, even if it is only 10 calories, you still have to burn it off.

And say if you do binge, unfortunately you are going to have to purge unless you want to be fat. If you have to purge, the easiest place to do it in the shower, and make sure it is not 1 hour after you have binged. Make sure to leave no traces, and put music and stuff on while you do it. If you know you are going to binge and can't help yourself, eat a banana beforehand. ANd make sure to keep purging until nothing comes out. Try and drink the shower water in the shower and push your stomach in. Just keep doing it until there is nothing left. I heard too that if you brush your teeth straight away after purging, the acid ruins the teeth. so wait a while.

Also I found out how to find your BMR  (lol don't count these as actual calories burned btw, it only counts if you actually do something physical >:u)

To figure out your BMR per day, simply take your weight in pounds (lbs) and multiply it by 11
If you wanna be more specific, take your weight in kg and multipy it by .02. This tells us how many calories we burn per minute, which isn't a lot.

Hurts when I do sit ups recently

So I do situps a lot, well, used to...Now whenever I try I hurt my tailbone when going up and down, and hit my spine and shoulder bones everytime! Ugh, so annoying! Guess I'll have to find another way of exercising then.

Nobody still has a freaking clue!

I've had this ED for over 6 months now, and nobody has even the slightest clue. Even when I don't eat my lunch, when my clothes start falling down, when I don't eat my lunch at school, when I skip meals completely at home, they don't even have the tiniest idea what I am going through.

I suppose it is a good thing, my sister even told me I was gaining weight today, (she does that all the time to be mean, and I actually lost weight today) even though I skipped meals as much as I could, and puked out my dinner a minute before! Yes, I know puking is freaking bad, but I did not know how much calories were in it, so I had to. Much better than last year when I had the ED, I showed plenty of signs then. It's good that I'm older now, more experienced I suppose. I know how to fool them.

I am never going to eat food again, willingly anyway. Whenever I look at food now, all I see is all the exercise I am going to have to do, how sore I will be, the fat going on my body, and how horrible it is having to puke it out.

I can do it this time. I swear to Ana, I can do it!

Freaking ruined it. Binged and purged

At least I vomited it out, I feel awful though. I ate like 1000 calories. Terrible. I hate myself for it. I only burned luming 600 calories so far as well. I'm exercising like mad now.

I....want....to...die!


WHY CAN'T I DO ANYTHING RIGHT!!

Got a total of -478 calories today

I really wanted to double the calories coming out, but I litereally could not do it. My feet turned blue and I am trembling too much. I'll try to burn the 169 calories tomorrow. Goodnight world.

-353 calories later, feet are hurting too much

I am trying so hard to keep going right now, if only my parents gave me less food today. I only have a bit of coke zero left too, like one bottle. I know this pain is worth it though. Hopefully I can last another few hours. It would be nice to be able to burn double as much. So far, I have been working really really hard, to burn 1000 calories. I hope I can make it more.

My new rule is to burn as much calories as I put in.

If I don't get it all today, I'll have to do it tomorrow. It really really puts me off food.

The only time I do eat, is when my parents force me. If they weren't there I'd eat nothing.

I wish I could eat nothing.

I need those legs

finding it hard to keep exercising

But I am only at -144 calories right now, and I haven't even eaten my dinner that my parents will make, which is probably calorie laden. I just have to keep trying. I only wish my muscles wouldn't hurt as much as they do now DX

my parents forced me to eat sugar laden breakfast

that is so DISGUSTING! I THINK THEY ARE PURPOSELY TRYING TO GET ME FAT!! 345 CALORIES!!! THAT IS JUST PLAIN WRONG.

I had to eat some lunch also, luckily I only ate 10 calories worth of it and got rid of it. why didn't they just not watch me at breakfast?!?!

ugh, so I had to do a truckload of exercise to burn that off, went to martial arts and did random exercises (jogging, jumping jacks, planks etc.)
I'm gonna keep  doing some more though, because you never know how calorie laden my dinner will be.

Pro-Ana bracelets

ANA is red

IFOF is a term that means "identification friend or foe" most commonly used in the aircraft industry. It is a thing on an airplane that tells people reading the signal if they are a friend or foe. We now have a system of our own. I got this from another site: Have you ever wondered if the skinny girl you see has an ED (A or M)? And proud of it? You so desperately want to ask, or even try to make friends but are scared? Well, no more ... since we have our ribbon "Ana is a lifestyle..." and its red.

I propose that we all get a red beaded bracelet. You can make it or buy them. Wear it daily or when you go out to secretly say that you are proud to be pro-ana or proud to have an ED that is. Anytime you see someone wearing a red beaded bracelet, capture their eye contact and point to your bracelet, and if they return the same point to theirs ... then they are ED friendly. If not, then its just someone whom is wearing one.

As for those who are older and feel silly wearing a beaded bracelet, wear a red t-shirt every Monday or when you go out on Mondays.

Please pass this along to every proED clubs, forums, websites (secrets/public) for we need to be known widespread secretly amongst us. So, copy/paste everyone!!!

You Can Run, But... Hold On, I Need to Rest

Seriously, this is what happens if you eat the sweets on Halloween, you get seriously fat

Plan for weekend

So I usually get up at 8.00 and do martial arts to around 11.00, burning around 300 calories
Then I will basicly workout for around 4-5 hours to burn 700 calories

I will have a piece of lettuce and a pickle and chop it up to make it look like I'm eating, and I will have plenty of coke zero.

I will be forced to eat dinner.

So that will be my plan. I'm probably gonna have around 500 calories for my dinner or something if I don't get rid of some eg. parents watching

But it will still be minus calories

Sunday I will most likely wake up at 10.00,

I will workout in my bedroom and have the same lunch as yesterday, but only if I have to.

I will put more in maybe 800 calories this time. But more if I can.

On the weekdays I will now try to do 500 calories


These are only benchmarks though, I will try to get higher than this, but that is my minumum exercise now.

Someone mistook me for the thinnest person in my class!

So there is this really thin girl in my class, who I am jealous of and aspire to and stuff because of her thinness. So today, when I was reading a book at break (lol i don't eat lunch, what else would I do, and there isn't the option of walking around at break either) and these girls all went up to me (my face was down) and were like," OH is that you Vicky? Hi Vicky, wanna go out to town with us over the weekend?" So I look at them and then they realize that I'm not Vicky, but in fact Marceline!
I was so happy at that because Vicky is litereally stick-thin. I can't believe they mistook her for me.

managed to burn off 246 calories

releif. still upset on the fat laden dinner, least i worked it off

-107 calories!!!
I WILL NOT BE FAT

MY HORRIBLE PARENTS MADE ME HAVE A WHOLE 1/9 OF A PIZZA

1 LUMPING NINTH! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH FAT IS IN THAT! glad it's the only thing I had BUT STILL! ALL THAT FAT AND GROSSNESS AND OIL GOING STRAIGHT TO MY STOMACH! AND THEY SAT AND WATCHED ME THE WHOLE TIME! I....WANT....TO....DIE!! UGH! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH EXERCISE I'LL HAVE TO DO NOW BECAUSE OF THEM????

137 whole calories of fatness. I feel gross TT^TT

Ok so I did 15 minutes of walking

2 minute plank (harder than what you think)

65 girly push ups

30 sit ups

5 desk sit ups

40 squats

so freaking tired after this, and my arms and legs wont stop shaking ><;; stupid food
SEE WHAT IT DOES TO ME!! DX

What I would've eaten no.2

Again, I disposed of all my food again. So I'm making another today. My lunch is always really gross >p<. Here's the link of it. diary no.1

Breakfast: Bowl of rice crispies and milk. We already know the dangers of eating that from the other post don't we?

Lunch:

•  Packet of small cookies (only fatties eat that ><)
• Cereal bar (high fructose, yum! (not))
• Activia dessert yogurts (cow fat, filled with sugar and flavourings, that’s good eat! Also yogurt congeals in your stomach and gets all gross and lumpy, and helps make even more fat to be digested. Never have it ><; seriously!)

YOGURT HELPS BUILD BELLY FAT!!! NOBODY LIKES BELLY FAT!!and do you SEE THE AMOUNT OF SUGAR!! I mean, and some people say yogurt is a "healthy food"/ 

Oh and never buy yogurts labelled as natural or organic. 

The reason is because they're loaded with sugar, and the cows these yogurts were made from have been pumped full of antibodies and growth hormones Seriously, you might as well eat sweets with a steroid chaser.

 

Oh and reasons why never to eat any yogurt is 

Sugar and calcium work badly together. 

And yogurt is an excellent source of calcium, but when calcium is mixed with sugar, the calcium is all lost, so it's useless. 

Sugar causes our bodies to excrete calcium.

And for the growth hormones that were found in the cows? They get passed into the yogurt, causes children to develop as early as 8. It also can causes CANCER and increased insulin, this can cause

DIABETES!

And the antibodies build up in our bodies, causes superbugs that are resistant to treatment. This has causes to DEATH in some people. 

OH, you'll just buy sugar free yogurt then huh? NO! These are laden with ingredients such as high fructose corn syrup, which aids in weight gain, by blocking the receptors in your brain that tell you that you’re full. Other brands add in chemical ridden sugar substitutes that are linked to cancer.

(she liked yogurt, look at her now)

• jam sandwich

Full of sugar and fructoce, really fattening. Oh and here's a quote from the bbc news "a person who exclusively eats jam sandwiches as a child has a larger risk of becoming obese and developing heart disease and cancer, because of the relatively high calorie count and lack of vegetables and fruit in the diet."

• orange juice

JUICE! JUST AS GOOD AND CALORIE LADEN AND FATTENING AS NORMAL FIZZY DRINKS! AND IT DOESN'T HAVE ALL THOSE VITAMON C THINGS WE THINK IT HAS, IT ACTUALLY HAS VERY LITTLE! JUICE IS NATURES WAY OF GETTING US TO EAT FIBRE!!! JUICE JUST GETS RID OF THE REASON COMPLETLY. 

I really don't get those Ana's who don't brush their teeth?

I mean, if you're worried about the calories in the toothpaste, don't use it for goodness sake. What is wrong with you people? Do you want rotten teeth or something? Nobody likes people with missing/rotten teeth.

My favourite Ana songs

A guys food diary, calories

Well I know this here guy, gave me his food diary. Now for the sake of it, I'm gonna work out the calories

Breakfast: 2 peanut butter and jam sandwiches

Lunch (quote): ''For lunch, I eat almost nothing

Only the main dish (usually something wheat or low calorie and/or fat)''

So I'm guessing 300, as wheat is calorie laden.

Dinner: 5 fast food hamburgers.


So that would be 327 per sandwich. 
So 654 for just breakfast

Lunch I'm guessing is 300

And dinner, well he said usually Wendy's burgers, so I'm taking a wild guess and saying he has the normal burger, which is 580 calories, that's 2900 calories. 


So, let's say he skipped lunch altogether, that would be 

3554 calories. 

He's certainly eating enough then. Shame about the absolutely no fruit :/

Did 2 hours walk today!

I was going at a pretty moderate pace too, so my feet are hurting now. It's worth it though, because I know with each step I am becoming lighter. Also I only had a tiny bit of my dinner, I used the fantastic tip Kayla gave me to get rid of the rest. Thank you so much Kayla!

So I'm at -135 calories today! Pretty good if I do say so myself.

Most Thinspirational Pictures Ever!

How many calories I would've had.

So, if I wasn't restricting myself and didn't get rid of the food, here is what I would have had. 

1. Bowl of rice Krispies (According to a few sources products that are puffed (rice bubble, puffed rice crackers & popcorn) produce a chemical that has been listed as a carcinogenic>>>>
(Do you really want to eat those things and let that happen to YOU??)

2. A glass of milk (with my cereal) 
Milk is technicly just smelly cow juice isn't it? smelly cow fat. Like, more than half of milk is fat isn't it? Don't drink milk. it is gross. 
3. Cereal bar. No matter if the granola bars in question have fruit, nuts, chocolate chips, or a ridiculous amount of fiber, they're almost always very high in sugar (which is usually high-fructosecorn syrup) and low in nutrients.

Oh and if you're wondering, fructose is the WORST type of sugar, it can only be digested by the liver so it's of no use to the rest of the body, and most of it ends up being turned to FAT! And you do hear the stories about maggots and worms in those cereal bars right?

4. Packet of mini-biscuits. May I say more? Cookies for goodness sake! CALORIE LADEN FAT DRIPPING COOKIES! imagine how much exercise you'd have to do to get rid of that!!!
And all who eat it are fat. Seriously. Huge big fatties. Do you want to be gross like them and eat cookies?!?!? NO I DIDN'T THINK SO!
 
And that is it so far, my mom gave me some money for lunch, of course, I didn't spend it. 

And that comes up to a total of 668.6 calories and 26.3 grams of FAT!

I am so glad I got rid of them. I do not want to be like the fatty above.

thin commandments

Follow the “Thin Commandments”
If you aren’t thin, you’re ugly.
Being thin is way more important than being healthy.
You must do anything to make yourself look thinner.
Thou shall not eat without feeling guilty.
Thou shall not eat fattening foods without punishing yourself accordingly.
Thou shall always count calories.
The scale is everything.
Losing=Life, Gaining=Death
You must become thin.
Being thin and perfect are signs of true determination.

binged today

what is wrong with me!! I ate like 2000 freaking calories!!!

I am a total failure! dafuqs wif me

gross food

So...I'm just gonna post some disgusting picd of food here for the sake of it.. Food is the enemy. You must never ever forget that.

OH and check out this website gross food

Oh and btw, these are CARROTS! These sick people take a perfectly healthy food and turn it into something that could give you a heart attack AT THE FIRST BITE! I mean seriously!

Candwich, more calories then 5 whole sandwhiches and over an AVERAGE persons GDA of salt and fat! I mean, a sandwhich is bad enough, all those calories packed into just a handful of food, but here they add more junk and add like a lot of sweeteners, salt, preservatives etc. These are sandwiches for the super lazy. Never eat it. 

THINGS FOUND IN FAST FOODS

Oh and here is a reason NEVER EVER TO EAT FAST FOOD! *copys and pastes news article o3o*

10 disgusting objects allegedly found in fast food

How would you like a side of used Band-Aid with your hamburger meal? A look at chain-restaurant orders gone terribly awry

POSTED ON MAY 17, 2012, AT 8:10 AM

Lettuce, onion, tomato, syringe: Whether it's a needle, a condom, or a fully fried chicken head, there are some things you never think you'll find in your food. Photo:Courtesy ShutterstockSEE ALL 63 PHOTOS

Sure, fast food is convenient, cheap, and arguably tasty. But from time to time, consumers get a lot more than they bargain for — and we're not talking extra curly fries. From weird animal parts to syringes, here, 10 disgusting things people claim to have found lurking in their fast food: 

1. An unidentifiable chicken organ
Earlier this month, a couple from the small town of Ocala, Fla., were returning from the movies and decided to swing by a local Popeye's Fried Chicken to bring home food for the young one. After opening the box's greasy lid, the pair realized they'd gotten a bit more than they'd bargained for: Dangling from a deep-fried breast piece was, allegedly, the dark, shriveled remnants of a chicken heart (or possibly a liver). "I may just stick to salads and vegetarian entrees when ordering takeout," says Mary Fischer at The Stir. "The last thing I need is to accidentally bite into a heart." 

2. A syringeA Hawaii-based soldier claims he was injured by a needle a few bites into his Burger King Triple Stacker in December 2010. According to a lawsuit filed against the burger chain, Army Staff Sgt. Clark Bartholomew was eating the meal at home when he allegedly bit into a wayward needle that made his tongue bleed. He was hospitalized for six days after another needle was found in his small intestine; Bartholomew has sued the company for "severe physical injury" to his stomach, rectum, and tongue.

3. A condom
Most kids get toys with their Happy Meals. One 7-year-old Swiss girl allegedly got a condom with her McDonald's fries. Her worried mother called the police after the 2009 incident. Police determined the oddity to be a health risk. McDonald's in Switzerland has declined to comment. 

4. A knife
In 2008, a 26-year-old New Yorker accused a Subway restaurant of baking a giant knife into a loaf of bread. The "would-be sword swallower" claims he found the 7-inch knife mid-bite, and went on to sue the sandwich chain for millions, says Good. 

5. A Band-Aid
One Canadian family was shocked when they allegedly found a used Band-Aid in their McDonald's fries. A 2007 legal filing states that the members of the family "immediately became queasy, light-headed, nauseous, and grew increasingly mortified" at the thought of eating food tainted by a used Band-Aid and blood. The accusers claimed that a restaurant worker came over afterward to try and get rid of the evidence. However, following an internal investigation, McDonald's Canada issued a statement saying the family's claims were bogus. 

6. Deep-fried chicken headIn a story that made national headlines, an American mother of two ordered McDonald's Happy Meals for her children and a burger and fries for herself. When she saw that her kids had left a few nuggets untouched, she reached across the table only to discover what appeared to be the deep-fried head of a chicken. The McDonald's manager offered the startled family their meal on the house, and two more weeks of free meals as compensation. But the mother pressed on, suing the fast food chain for $100,000 in 2007. It's still unclear how, exactly, the head got there.

7. Feathers
In March, Raquel House was chowing down on her McNuggets when she allegedly felt something strange in her mouth. "And that's when I saw that there was a white hair on my tongue," she told her local ABC station, "and I looked at my food, and there were feathers coming off the nugget." McDonald's said they would look into the matter.

8. Human flesh
In 2005, a Miami man was dining at his local Arby's when he found a piece of skin in his chicken sandwich. No, not chicken skin — the substance was allegedly a dangling piece of flesh about three-fourths of an inch long. "It looked like I was seeing fingerprints on it," he said. "I got sick and went to the bathroom." Health investigators talked to the restaurant manager, who noted that he was wearing a bandage on his right thumb. The manager said he had sliced the thumb while shredding lettuce, but had dumped the bin per standard safety procedure.

9. A mouse 
Popeye's may serve an assortment of Cajun-inspired chicken, fish, and shrimp offerings, but mouse is not on the menu. That's why a Baltimore man was taken aback when he bit into a deep-fried piece of what was, allegedly, something small and furry. Investigating health officials said they found signs of a mouse infestation following the incident.

10. A finger
In 2005, San Jose, Calif., police were investigating the strange case of a woman who claimed to have found a finger in her bowl of Wendy's chili. In what turned out to be remarkably like a game of Clue, detectives had different ideas about where the finger might have come from: A recently deceased aunt? A mysterious ranch worker? A rural Nevada woman who lost it to a pet leopard? The answer: None of the above. Police determined that the finger belonged to a Nevada man who had given it to the woman's husband to plant in her food, hoping to scam the restaurant chain for money.

GROSS FACTS ABOUT FAST FOOD

If you’re hungry right now, you won’t be after you read this article. There are some pretty horrendous facts about fast food and other food favorites out there if you’re willing to dig a little.Keep reading to learn about 10 disgusting food facts that McDonald’s and other food giants likely don’t want you to know about.

10 The average fast food patron eats 12 pubic hairs in a given year

We’ve all got the occasional hair in our food at one point or another. Ingesting unwanted hair is more likely to occur at fast food restaurants… and it’s not just the hair that grows on the top of heads that you need to worry about.

9 A strawberry McDonald’s milk shake contains 50 artificial flavors

Apparently, real strawberries are expensive. So fast food companies like McDonald’s choose to use a ridiculous concoction of 50 chemicals to effectively imitate the flavor of one real-world food. These chemicals include ethyl acetate, phenythyl alcohol and solvent.

8 This is where chicken nuggets come from

Before reshaping, foods like chicken nuggets, hot dogs, bologna and pepperoni look like a disgusting sludge of pink paste. This is done through a process called mechanical separation, which is a cost-effective way to “smooth out” bone remnants left after the de-boning process. The process results in excessive bacteria, which is fixed by washing the meat in ammonia. To cover up that delicious ammonia flavor, the meat is then re-flavored artificially and dyed to resemble to type of meat it once was.

7 There are bugs and rodent hair in your peanut butter

FDA laws allow for an average of 30 insect fragments per 100 grams of peanut butter. In that same half cup of peanut butter, you’ll also find at least one rodent hair (on average). Yum! Now that’s good eating!

6 Shellac is an important ingredient in jelly beans

Shellac is a type of finishing product that is typically used to improve the shine of wood and furniture. However, it can also be used to improve the shine of certain foods, such as jelly beans. Where does shellac come from? Why, it’s secreted by an insect in Thailand called the Kerria Iacca of course!

5 Various viruses can be found on processed lunch meat

Food production companies have long sought ways to combat unhealthy microbes found on processed foods such as lunch meat and hot dogs. A few years ago, the FDA approved the use of bacteriophages (a.k.a. viruses) that help kill these dangerous microbes. So, basically, viruses are purposely being added to your food to improve shelf life.

4 If not for one ingredient, drinking a can of Coke would make you vomit

While cocaine was long taken out of Coca-Cola long ago, the current formula is still formulated to get you high. Each can of Coke contains 10 teaspoons of sugar. This is 100 percent of your recommended daily intake. In normal circumstances, the extreme sweetness of this much sugar would immediately cause you to vomit uncontrollably. However, since all that sugar is addictive and keeps you coming back for more, Coca-Cola adds phosphoric acid -– an ingredient that cuts the sweetness to manageable levels.

3 Processed cheese is less than 51 percent cheese

A more accurate name for Kraft Singles and other packaged cheeses is “cheese-like substance.” Any cheese product labeled as processed or pasteurized includes additives, chemicals and flavorings that account for up 49 percent of the total product. As a result, that cheap cheese in your grocery store has just enough real cheese in it to allow companies to call it cheese.

2 Fast food salads contain chemicals used in antifreeze

Choosing to “eat healthy” at a fast food restaurant isn’t necessarily a good idea. To prolong crispness, packaged salads are dusted with Propylene Glycerol, a chemical commonly found in antifreeze. In its concentrated form, the chemical has been known to cause eye and skin irritation.

1 Chicken McNuggets contain beef

Many fast food chicken items contain beef additives used to enhance flavor and juke health stats. Chicken McNuggets, the Wendy’s Grilled Chicken Sandwich, and KFC Grilled Chicken Sandwich are a few examples. Check the ingredients, and you’ll see no sign of such atrocities. That’s because such beef additives are listed as “extract” or “essence.”

Lost 2 pounds!!!

YES! This diet is actually working! LOL I think the main reason was because everytime I felt hungry I'd just watch a fatman video. I'll link one here so you can like, watch him if you want :u

random tip

banging ur head against a wall burns 105 cals an hour.....

THE SPACE BETWEEN MY LEGS ARE GETTING BIGGER!

this is so awesome. I remember when I first started there wasn't any space at all, I was just so fat! Now its like really big! happiness is coming my way :D

Oh and also today, I burned 350 calories doing exercise.  Oh and guess how many calories so far today? 15! 15 whole calories! so thats like

-335 CALORIES!

so happy!

Most amount of feels ever

So... apparently crying causes you to burn calories. So, I'm gonna post a load of feels now.

the end. i bet they were'nt even sad for most of you...

I am the worst human being on the planet

So today, I ate 500 freaking calories, then puked it all out! Oh god, it was terrible! I though I could do better than that! i can't believe I did that! I am just a fit lazy piece of uselessness. Oh and I got a C for one of my exam, I know what you're thinking , that its no big deal. Well, according to my dad it is! He shouted at me for hours and put me down a lot. I hate myself! I'm just terrible. I have to try to get better next time, even though I did study and try my hardest. He said that he is going to cut down my computer time. I wish I could die.But I can't coz I don't want to die fat..

All these thingsare going through my head and more, how can I keep hiding my anorexia from them, they''re bound to find out sooner or later, how am I supposed to get thin if I binged and purged! The fat probably has already clinged onto my body. What if they find out about my blog, they're going to probably check sooner or later! Will they notice my weight loss?

I just really really hate myself right now. I'm literally crying because of such a failure I've become. 

Random diary entry of today,

I suppose it's not that bad, I mean its only like 1 calorie right? And anyway it makes me feel full so I'm off food.....I still feel kindof guilty though.

Anyways my mom was like telling me to um drink this high calorie orange soft drink, it was like 132 WHOLE CALORIES PER GLASS! Luckily, she had also bought some coke, but the packaging was deceiving so she didn't know it was diet. Thank god. So I drank the glass of coke instead! 1 calorie is much better that 132 ANYDAY

OH and what happened to skinny gossip? No new posts for ages now. Really annoying. I could do with some new tips. I have to admit though, the Christmas thinspo page was the most motivational for me.

In other news, my arms are getting numb now if I hold anything for too long, is the normal?

Oh and I think I should tell you all what I eat daily, so you can take tips from what I eat.

Morning: 1 teaspoon of yoghurt or a tiny crumb of weetabix
Lunch: nothing
Dinner: sometimes I manage a diet coke, otherwise I usually just have soup. And when I have soup I half the packet to make sure I have as little as possible. And I always leave a bit at the end of the bowl.

If you're wondering how many calories it is, it's usually only about 70, but when my parents *groan* make my dinner, its usually around 300-400. Gross right?

Oh and here is an epic thinspo pic, amazing huh?

So, I've been getting really dizzy recently

But that's good isn't it? It just means the diets working doesn't it. Yeah I think so ^w^
Anyways I'll keep trying, one day I will be thin >:u Oh and just to make sure I DON'T FAIL here is my fave thinspo video. Oh and my calorie intake today was 61, can still do better though..

The battle of the diet cokes!

Well, many of you I'm guessing drink lots of diet colas. It's very low in calories, fullness, you look like you're consuming calories to fool other people and it has caffeine which keeps you awake and slimming effects! But..which one of them has the least calories? (all are per 100mls okay?)

 Diet coke, this is .5 calories 

 

 Caffeine free diet coke, the same. 5 calories. but get the caffeine one, because we need caffeine. caffeine is good. it helps with weight loss remember? try to get the caffeinated one. caffeine doesn't have any calories anyway by the looks of it 

 

Citrus zest diet coke, 1 calorie

Cherry diet coke, 1 calorie

Coke zero, .3 calories! 

 

Conclusion! Buy coke zero instead of diet coke! it has slightly LESS CALORIES! even though it's only a few, they all add up. DRINK COKE ZERO!

 translation: BUY COKE ZERO BECAUSE IT IS WAY BETTER THAN DIET COKE AND YOU LOOK LIKE YOU ARE LESS INTO LOSING WEIGHT TOO! AND YOU WILL LOSE MORE WEIGHT! ANA WILL BE HAPPY AT YOU!(okay it probably doesn't say that, but how do you know?, you don't know Japanese do you?)